Funny Running Quotes: 35 to Humor Runners

Seeking some funny running quotes? Here are a few for you to enjoy…

  1. “Running is a like a cup of coffee…I’m much nicer after I’ve had one.”

2. “In the first half of the race, don’t be an idiot. In the second half, don’t be a wimp!”
-Scott Douglas, on running marathons

3. “Smile! Remember, you paid to do this!”
-race spectator sign

4. “Runners don’t die. They only smell like it.”
– race spectator sign

5. “Running an hour a day adds 10 years to your life. Unfortunately, you spend it running.”

6. “Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people.”
– runner’s T-shirt

7. “Please ignore the faces I make while running.”
– runner’s T-shirt

8. “It’s rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud.”

9. “Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
– runner’s T-shirt

Jogging Quotes for Humor

10. Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you.”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

11. “I run because punching people is frowned upon.”
– runner’s T-shirt

12. “For someone who runs all the time, I still have the ability to make it look like it’s the first time I’ve ever tried it.”

13. “Slow runners make fast runners look good. You’re welcome.”
-runner’s T-shirt

14. “If you see me running, you better run too because something is chasing me.”

15. “Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.”
-Barney Stinson (in How I Met Your Mother)

Humor Funny Running Quotes

16. “Any idiot can run, but it takes a special kind of idiot to run a marathon.”

17. “Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author

18. “I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor

19. “Running won’t solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework.”

20. “Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you.”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

21. “If found on ground, drag to finish line.”
-seen on racer’s T-shirt

22 “There are many challenges to long-distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys”.– Gabrielle Zevin

23. “Please ignore the faces I make while running

24. “My doctor told me that running could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already”. – Milton Berle

25. “There is magic in misery. Just ask any runner” – Dean Karnazes

26. “I didn’t train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can” -John Bingham

Runner Running Quotes Funny

27. “The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back”.– Franklin P. Jones

28. “Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them

29. “Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.” – Rich Hall

30. “If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you’ll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you’ll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway.” – Don Kardong

31. “The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.” Erma Bombeck

32. ” I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster.” – Robin Williams

33. “Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.” – Victoria Wood

34. ” If you start to feel good during an ultra, don’t worry, you will get over it.” – Gene Thibeault

35. “There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys.” – Gabrielle Zevin

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